Nonfiction: Disappointment

Disappointment is a funny thing. It’s not like the feeling you get when someone tells you they’re upset or angry with you. They’re disappointed, and that’s even worse. It’s like you let them down, like they had so much faith in you and expected so much more from you, and you just let them down. It’s a terrible feeling to disappoint someone. And it’s not easy to take back either, once it’s done. You have to work extra hard to gain that person’s trust and respect back. But the truth is that disappointment happens all the time, whether it’s forgetting a special event, like someone’s birthday. Or not performing to your best capabilities at work. Or lying to a loved one for whatever reason, and then they find out. Disappointment happens all the time, but what can you do about it? I guess it’s just a part of life.

I disappointed someone today. Someone who has been there for me for everything. Someone who bends over backwards when I have a problem…when I need a smile on my face. And I feel terrible. And it’s made me think. Sometimes we don’t intentionally mean to let someone down. I know I didn’t. But it happens anyway, and what can you do? I chalk it up to time—to being too busy, but I know that’s a sad excuse, and it shouldn’t be that way anyway. It all comes down to how we treat people. We have turned into such a selfish society. We quickly forget to care about anyone else but ourselves. I’m sad to say that I’ve fallen victim to it, too.

I want to tell this person how guilty I feel for the pain I’ve caused them…how downright awful I feel. But everyone knows that saying how you feel isn’t the easiest thing in the world, and sometimes there are no words to describe a feeling. That’s why I write. Putting my feelings down on paper somehow seems to flow easier…makes the words come out better. And I’m not writing this to preach at you guys, whoever may be reading. I’m doing it for myself, really, but if I can reach you and strike true to how you feel too, maybe I’m helping you too in some strange way.

Disappointing someone makes me wonder about the person I am…the person I want to be. And I realize that I haven’t quite liked the person I’ve been the past few weeks. It makes me take a step back and reevaluate my life and my goals and what’s important to me, and what should be important to me. I guess that’s one benefit coming out of the situation. I’m going to try to change and be the person people expect me to be, even though living up to expectations people restrain on me is never an easy task. But I’ll try.

The point I’m trying to make is don’t forget to treat people how you would want to be treated, as repetitive as it sounds. It’s true. How would you feel if someone disappointed you? You would feel terrible. Let down. Disappointment sucks on both ends. So try to stop it before it creeps in! ☺

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